inbar - hello! great question, and one that i was actually just contemplating recently.

i have always had this skewed view of bisexuals...first it was "they are just lesbians who don't want to (or can't) admit that fact and come out yet" then my opinion turned more into "well, they like women, i love women...i guess i just don't understand why they seem so confused or torn." finally, i have come to place where i have accepted the fact that there are so many wonderful people in the world and we should never judge any of them and that everyone, man, woman, lesbian, gay, bisexual, have the right to BE who they are and BE proud of that. actually if i think about it, i had one intimate encounter with a bisexual (questioning) woman and briefly dated another self proclaimed bisexual (which didn't work out).

i would like to know - any bisexual women out there want to speak openly about how they identify themselves, how they live their life and who they prefer to/love/have sex with/etc.?

I have to admit, I've openly "bashed" bi's but generally my grudge is with the younger generations...(OMG I feel old now) the college/ highschool crowd who are like "oh, I'm bi" so they get more attention... *sigh*

I do know some truely bi people and it's sad that they all get generally put into the "bi" category and everyone sorta rolls their eyes and thinks "oh they are just bi because (they can't make up their mind) (feel safer then being out) (are greedy) (are getting attention)"
I'm very saddened by this current trend, and hope like in our own comunity they can over come the hangers on who are giving bisexuals a bad name.

*steps of soap box*

i'll chime in as someone who idetifies(?) or at least check next to bi. i fell like i should since i do not only sleep with women, but i agree there should be terms for those who veer one way or another. i veer twards women but that is a long journey for me it seems. i spent so much of my young adulthood being jelous of lesbians because they get to sleep with women, i didn't find men physically attractive, but i could love who they were. i thought of thst as good enough and figured i was just frigid. Joy the day it occured to me i might be what i am jelous of! But then the longer journey began... i have an extraordinary lack of ability when it comes to swooning women. Maybe it is just luck. It doesn't help that now i live in podunkville population 10 gay people 7 of them men. But even in very "gay" cities like portland and frisco, i have no game. ;-)

So since along the way i learned to appriciate the beauty of a man and because it turns out i am not very frigid at all, i will take a male lover because, well, i can and otherwise i never have sex.

But i am haunted by the scene in "Go Fish" where there is the bleachers of lesbians ragging on bisexuals.

Some of us are bi by default as my two only girlfriends seem to HAve to have a boyfriend.
But i am more gay- bi as anytime a guy gets serious about me i break it off because i can not picture myself being with a man for any perminance, i get angry jelous that they get a woman and i don't.

Sorry for the download but this is weighing on me lately.Thanks for bringing it up.

a

Hehehe. Hello all, new to this tribe. This is something i have had quite a bit of trouble over. I don't honestly lable myself as anything anymore. I think that people should do what they want, the world is at our fingertips to explore as we please, why put rules and regulations? When we start being biased agaisnt others for doing as they please and then get mad when people do the same to us isn't that a bit hypocritical? I have worked in the LGBTQ community, been part of the LGTBQ community now for a while, all I see is biases hurting people, trans people getting beat up. The older gay men in the Castro in San Francisco trying to run the young kids out of the neighborhood instead of supporting each other, why can't we all band together as one big community and help others realize that homophobia, racisim, and other things are not okay, that we are people just as them and that we are free to make our own choice? WE ARE ALL PEOPLE! If I were asked to label myself as anything I would say that I am a bisexual leaning towards the lesbian end of the spectrum who is open to polyamorus relationships but not concrete on that. I think that both men and women have things to offer and that i have things to offer to poeple of either gender as well. I truely enjoy being sexual with both genders. I also hold the belief that we are beings made up of many different layers, all of us have spiritual side, all of us have a mental side, all of us have a sexual side and so on. Therefor we interact with every other human being on all of those levels. Each relationship we hold is made up a different amount of those different parts of our selves but none are ever excluded. That doesn't mean you want to have sex with every person, it just means that when you interact with someone all of your parts interact with all of their parts, maybe you share a belief about sexuality, maybe you're both queer, and many other things. Essentially I don't look down on whatever anyone wants to do, they are thinking, they are making their own choices, if someoine is doing something that I don't like then maybe I interact with them less but if what they are doing isn't hurting me then why should I really care? Pretty much I'm all about the love here, i love evryone I come across in my life because we are sharing experience here together, what an amazing thing that is that I have the choice to be with whom I want, to ride horses, have a daughter! Yes I am a new mom and it is important to me that my child grows up in a world full of love, loving people, loving life. We all have our choices, remind people to make conscious ones and think for themselves!