It's really so hard... For quite a long time we've been so used being together... then it's going to be almost a year since we saw each other... My partner doesn't have the convenience of having a computer so that we could talk more often and even see each other through the webcam... It's so hard... I have been trying to find work just to be able to be with her... There were a lot of interested employers who really said they would hire me.... but upon telling them my situation of needing a visa... Things become a lot different...
I'll give up anything... I'll work really hard... The only thing that's keeping me from going there is the visa thing... Actually... I'm crying right now... This is one of those moments when I can just feel my heart becoming so heavy... Sometimes... I feel like falling apart from missing her... It's even harder because my parents are very homophobic... I told them the truth about me and my partner already but all I got was digust and bashing... It's really hard coping with all of these... All at the same time... It's like I'm being held as a prisoner... One day... I'll just go away... I need to keep my sanity... As depression seems to set in...
I'll give up anything... I'll work really hard... The only thing that's keeping me from going there is the visa thing... Actually... I'm crying right now... This is one of those moments when I can just feel my heart becoming so heavy... Sometimes... I feel like falling apart from missing her... It's even harder because my parents are very homophobic... I told them the truth about me and my partner already but all I got was digust and bashing... It's really hard coping with all of these... All at the same time... It's like I'm being held as a prisoner... One day... I'll just go away... I need to keep my sanity... As depression seems to set in...
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Philippines
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Re: Getting harder to cope with things each day....
Fri, October 20, 2006 - 4:59 PMDeep down, I knew there had to be others out there in a similar situation as me! Like you, I am sitting here 12,000 miles away from the one I love. It's like being homesick all the time. Living in two worlds. We met 13 years ago. Love at first site. and still now...more now. It's been something I can't let go of. It's part of me. She's part of me. I went to see her, Nov. 9 ,05.....it had been exactly 10 years to the day since I had seen her. Now almost a year. Sometimes it feels like I'm going to spontaneously explode. I can't walk there, or catch a train, bus, or even drive myself. Not that it would do any good......there's still the damn immigration paperwork and expense to wade through. I'm currently in nursing school. 2 1/2 years left. I love it, and I think that'll be my ticket. I have to stay as positive as I can, just by knowing I'm working hard towards making this happen. But. It's friday nite, and I just want to curl up and think about her, and remember. I know your pain. It's a pain like no other. But I think that comes along with a love that's like no other. ........ -
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Re: Getting harder to cope with things each day....
Sun, October 22, 2006 - 4:08 PMladies - i hear you both loud and clear!
i have been connected to a woman who i still, to this day, consider the love of my life and we have never lived together in the same town. we met when we were in college, spent a wonderful two months falling in love with each other, spent the next year being madly in love - traveling back and forth to see each other all the time. then, things went very badly; her father was dying, my grandmother was dying, we had talked about moving in together but that was not a realistic option at the time...we were heartbroken, sad, mad, experiencing all emotions. the long distance relationship = ups/downs, highs/lows, joy/pain, love/heartbreak...it's a never ending cycle.
through everything, we stayed connected and never lost touch. we still can't detach ourselves from one another (i just talked to her last night and we still are hopeful that one day we will be together) all i can do is be patient, remain hopeful and keep the faith that the love will have the chance to blossom again. time is the most difficult hurdle...
hang in there. -
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Re: Getting harder to cope with things each day....
Mon, October 23, 2006 - 5:51 AMThanks Kate! I just got home from a retreat... I miss my partner so much... I can't stop thinking about her... Miranda and you really know how things like this may seem unbearable... I really want to have more strength and trust in our Love that someday... We'll be together... Let's always try to "keep the music playing" in our relationships... I'm so in love with her... -
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Re: Getting harder to cope with things each day....
Mon, October 23, 2006 - 10:36 AMTime is hard. But it's the immigration laws that really get me. Why can't we just go where we want? ---without all the rules and regulations? This gets to me more than anything because I don't care about money, but it would simplify immigration problems. I'm so anxious to get through school....have to be careful, just before every test I feel like if I don't pass I'll get the death sentence! Too much pressure isn't going to do me any good. I know what you mean, can't stop thinking....the possibilities are endless....when is this going to happen? I have come to cherish that she's always on my mind. I can feel her inside me. From the first moment we met, literally, I just don't feel right when I'm away from her. I have to do a lot of breathing "exercises" -especially when I get really frustrated...but it helps me stay positive, which helps her stay positive. I mean, how blessed are we to have experienced such a love anyway???!!!!! -
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Re: Getting harder to cope with things each day....
Tue, October 24, 2006 - 10:42 PMYeah... The immigration laws are too stringent. Someday they'll regret that... When a lot of people would rather stay in Canada or somewhere else. I can really feel what you're going through... It's never an assurance even if you have money to go there... There are really a lot of pressure as you always have to keep in mind the process that we have to go through to have a company sponsor us for a visa. I'm also studying right now for my masters... There are a lot of times when I can't concentrate because of the frustrations of not being with the person I love so much.
It is indeed rare to find love this deep and true... -
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Re: Getting harder to cope with things each day....
Tue, October 31, 2006 - 10:42 AMI was just thinking, if I had some money.....I could go to school in Australia...how SWEET would that be!!!!!!! Then just stay. See, simple! LOL, I'm trying to make myself laugh today!!!
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